I grew up believing marriage really (REALLY) sucked!
It was very confusing because on one hand, even as a kid, I wanted to get married someday, but on the other hand I was SO put off by how miserable the women I grew around were.
Jaded by Twenty
By the time I hit my twenties I’d given up on marriage- I decided that if I found someone I fancied I’d move in with them- we’d kinda just hang out and see how it went and if it didn’t work one of us would move out- nothing broken, not much damage done and we’d go our separate ways and move on to the next person we’d fancy.
I was quite happy with how that sounded.
But the ONLY place I think it happens that simply, and especially, “without damage” is in the movies.
A part of my story I’m not proud of
I don’t talk about my fears around getting married because it’s not something I’m proud of- nor would like to expose of myself- but even as far as walking down the aisle and for a couple of years into my marriage I still had the idea that what I’d gotten myself into was a temporary affair and my Guy and I really had no obligation to each other if we didn’t work out.
Now, Nine years married to the same guy and crazy in love with him- I’m often shocked at how I can still lie next to him and just watch him- totally smitten… In my old age 😉 😀 (LOL) I’ve begun to understand the depth that marriage is. It’s so deep that I can see why it’s been under such attack and so HUGELY twisted in the minds and hearts of many.
Restoration is Yours if You want it
My Guy and I both know what it means to have our hearts broken- we’ve experienced the ugly side of two people who are supposed to love each other tear into each other like ravenous wolves- we both came from places of tremendous fear and pain going into our life together- but what I wish we both knew at the start of our marriage is that God does truly heal. And He is able to restore in us what we’ve lost.
None of us are victims unless we choose to be.
The Talk I’ll never Forget
I will never ever forget a talk I had with one of my uncles when I was in my teens. He’d heard that I’d decided that marriage was not for me- He sat me down and said, “Hannah, God’s grace is sufficient for you.” I remember, in the arrogance of a teenager, thinking What on earth does this man know about what he’s saying?!
Where had God’s grace been in the lives of the broken I’d witnessed all my life- lives shattered because marriage had not been honoured? Children deeply wounded because the man who was supposed to love only their mom had found pleasure in other women- Where had God’s “grace” been then?
Where was God’s grace when women I knew had been beaten at the hands of the men they loved? Where was His grace when these women prayed that they’d know love and over and over it was denied them? But I let my Uncle speak. It was the respectful thing to do. But looking back now, I know that my spirit heard the truth of what he’d said: God’s grace was sufficient for ME. I had to believe that for myself. I had to stop believing that the hurt of others would be my fate too if I got married- I had to believe that God’s grace would surely be sufficient for Me.
The Marriage Miracle
I can’t say I fully understood what my uncle meant-
But what I can say is that even though my life with my Guy hasn’t been easy I have truly seen God’s grace in it.
I believe that Marriage is as much a miracle as the birth of a newborn baby. And because it’s just as divine and innately spiritual the only shot we have at experiencing what God intended with marriage is to have Him, the Creator of it, at the center.
What Every Single Woman Needs to Know
Single women have the best chance of getting this right from the beginning by not getting hitched because the clock’s ticking- but by marrying the right guy from the beginning. And yes there really is such a thing as the right guy. I doubt there’s perfect but there is right. That whole nonsense about “making each other right” is just that, nonsense. If you marry just anybody you will get just anything- and you don’t want anything You want an honourable man who will be a good husband and honourable dad to your kids. Anything less than that please send away.
God heals the unseen wounds
I know men have been hurt too by women, I don’t deny that, but I can only authentically share my own experience as a woman and as a witness to the lives of the women I grew up around.
In whatever way wounds around marriage were inflicted on us, I believe there’s healing. Just as Jesus heals people of physical problems He fully heals the wounds we bear that cannot be seen.
It’s TOTALLY worth the wait
For every young woman out there still waiting for her Guy, a godly Guy who will love and cherish her the way Daddy God desires for His girls- I pray that you would believe in the miracle of they guy you seek coming to find You.
I pray that Daddy would heal the deepest parts of you that have been hurt and scarred so you may love your guy with such abandon that he would melt every time he looks at you.
It doesn’t matter what your past experience has been; God wants to give you a new experience.
Jesus turned water (WATER!) into wine. (I mean even if it’d been oros he’d turned into wine that’d still’ve been pretty AWESOME! 🙂
Your EXCEEDING and ABUNDANT Miracle is coming!
Jesus raised people from the dead. He walked on water. He spoke to raging storms and they obeyed Him. The new testament tells us that Lovers of Jesus would walk past people and their SHADOWS would heal the sick!!!! How crazy is that!
Sister Girl we serve a mighty MIGHTY God- He cannot do ALL those incredible things and then fail to satisfy you with a good man.
Your part is to believe. Don’t panic. Don’t worry. Don’t listen to the crowds that tell you to settle because “time’s a tickin’ “- Keep your eyes on Jesus and trust that He is faithful to EXCEEDINGLY and ABUNDANTLY fulfill the desires of your heart regarding Your Life Partner.
Even the Great Prophet Elijah got it Wrong
I’ll end with the story of Elijah in 1 Kings 19:10
So here Elijah is running away from armies sent to slaughter him.
He cries out to God saying all the Children of Israel have forsaken God and He’s the only one left. But God tells Elijah that he’s not the “only one left” there are actually Seven THOUSAND in Israel who haven’t forsaken their God.
YOU woman of God might’ve heard many many times that there are “no good men out there”. That’s NOT true. God knows where the good men are- THEY ARE THERE. And one of them is coming your way to sweep You off your feet.
My dearest sister, God’s Grace IS Sufficient For YOU!
I send You Love,