A few years ago I had come to a crossroads.
I’d been doing work I loved, I was a happy mom, my marriage was the best it’d ever been- yet I felt something was missing.
I begun to pray.
I asked God, “Daddy what do you want me to do with my life?”
I knew the answer to this question would fill the yearning for a something I didn’t quite know how to navigate.
When the answer came it sounded too simple to carry any real weight:
Remind women of how beautiful they are.
I wracked my brain for what that meant: Remind women of how beautiful they are?
I carried on with my work. Which included a make-over episode for our Dream BIG TV Show. (You can watch that video here)
The make-over was for my friend Antonette Hardy.
At first I didn’t think too much of the make-over. It was part of my TV Show. Just another episode. Or so I thought.
When we begun it was all about the look. Hair. Clothes. Make-up.
It ended up being WAY more than that.
I remember one day during the make-over being so very emotional and utterly overwhelmed.
I told my husband: “I don’t know what I’m doing! I don’t think I’m equipped for this!”
My husband looked at me with such compassion and gently said: “You do the make-over on the outside and God will do the make-over on the inside.”
And God did!
Antonette’s transformation was remarkable! Not just the “look” but what God had done for her on the inside!
Deep healing she hadn’t even known she’d needed begun to take place. And true, as my beautiful husband had said, as I faithfully stuck to my side of things: hair, clothes, make-up, God did the greater work- on the inside.
Then it got personal
Fast forward to the birth of my third baby.
Two months after the birth of my third child I was a shadow of my former self.
For the first time in all my life I felt terribly ugly- and not just that, I actually grossed myself out!
I was drowning!
Utterly depleted I called my mom one day and gasped, “I’ve never been so exhausted in all my life!”
My mom listened to my rant. Then answered: “Usually, long before we actually experience something in the physical- it’s been going on for a long time in the spirit. So the fatigue you feel is something that begun a long time ago you just didn’t realise it.”
I wanted to cry when she said that.
I remembered my previous year: The devastation I’d been through. Also, we’d faced many failures and challenges in the business. Added to that we’d had losses. It’d all been too much!
And I’d given up.
I’d become tired of being knocked down each time I tried to get up!
Just as I’d be recovering from one blow- I’d be punched hard again! Over and over. Eventually, to stop the barrage of attacks, I stayed down. To survive.
My mom continued to speak on the other side of the phone: “I know it’s hard with three small children who need you. But they need you to look after Yourself first so you can better look after them.”
I knew what my mom was saying was true- but I didn’t know how to look after myself anymore.
When it came to looking after my kids I was on autopilot. I fed them. Ensured they were clean. Took the two tots to school. Routine. Only what was needed. It was all I could manage.
But my children’s mom was gone
I no longer laughed. I couldn’t.
I yelled. A lot.
I listened to my mom- Even if I didn’t know how to look after myself for me- I had to dig deep and find a way to do it for my kids.
My mom continued: “You need to spend time with God. I know it’s hard and I know you don’t have time- but make the time.”
Then my mom said something rather odd and seemingly out of place: “Look nice,” She said. “Get your hair done-”
I couldn’t believe what she was saying! Look nice? Get my hair done! With what time!
I barely got the chance to pee! How on earth would I find time to “get my hair done”!
But I let my mom talk. Because I knew she was speaking in Love. And all she was saying resonated deep in my soul I knew it to be truth.
The following day I put some lipstick on.
You look ridiculous! I heard my inner critic laugh.
But I smiled back at my reflection. Baby steps, I whispered to myself.
As days went on I put on some eyeliner.
One day I remember scrubbing my feet and being shocked at how I’d let them get so nasty! They were crusted in dirt! It was revolting!
I gave myself a deep cleanse. A proper pedicure and painted my toes a banging bright pink!
I had beautiful feet and I was going to honour them!
I begun to dig around for clothes I no longer wore; because all I’d wanted to do before was drown myself in fabric to hide what I’d felt was a grossly overweight preggy-fat body.
Baby steps, I kept telling myself.
Not long after that first day I wore lipstick again I received an invite to speak at a ladies’ event on Beauty. I was asked to share on Outer Beauty!
Giggling I thought:
Oh Daddy God, You do have a sense of Humour!
I (of course!) accepted the invite!
As I prepared for the talk the words I’d felt Daddy whisper to me years before begun to echo in my heart:
Remind women of how beautiful they are
I remembered Antonette’s very brave journey.
I remembered my own.
From that first day I’d worn lipstick again- a symbolic act of reclaiming my beauty, hope had begun to rise in me.
The Scriptures say:
“Faith is the Substance of things Hoped for”
If we don’t hope for anything our belief dwindles.
Oh! Not believing is so dangerous! We have to believe in what is to come. We have to have something to look forward to otherwise we begin to die.
I traced my journey back.
My hope had begun to return when I remembered my beauty.
It wasn’t just lipstick. It wasn’t just nail polish. To look after my body was to show honour and value a part of me that I could feel, see and touch. When I honoured that part of me I was able to honour the parts of me that were essential to a vibrant, fulfilled, existence: my soul and spirit.
I begun to dream again.
I had hope for the future. Again.
I found myself devouring God’s Word! Oh how I’d missed that!
I begun to understand what Daddy had tried to tell me all those years ago.
My heart soared!
I knew there were many women like me and Antonette. And we didn’t have to just survive. No!
God’s portion for us was abundance!
But we could never enjoy that true abundance if we still battled with things that made us feel ugly. Especially on the inside.
I knew there wasn’t a better time than right now to spread the message.
This is where The Beautiful Series begun. This is why we started it. This is why it’s so very important.
Our first event is on October 1, 2016.
We’ve posted more info on our site which you can find by clicking here
If any of this resonates with you or you can think of a friend, sister, mom or even colleague who may need this please send us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org
I look forward to hearing from You!
I send you Love,