I was quite happy to find out that I was not the only person to suffer from bouts of envy from time to time.
When I realised I could get embarrassingly envious at times – I was quite surprised at myself- mostly because I, simply put, love my life.
One day as a heavy cloud of envy hung over me I cried out to God: “Father deliver me from this! What the hell is this feeling! I don’t want to be envious of others! I want to be happy with what I have and I want to be ecstatic when others succeed- Father help me!”
I was very blessed in that this prayer was answered almost immediately- the feelings I had of wanting what the person I was envying had – disappeared.
But I knew such moments would rise again in my life and the earnest prayer in my life was that Father would truly deliver me from the spirit of envy- not just this one time but for always.
One of the immediate results of this was that I began to focus more on my own dream- the dream I’d had ever since I was a child.
Before my release from envy I’d have a gazillion ideas running through my head each day- they were all great ideas- but the urgency to get them done was stressing me out rather than blessing me.
I was in a state of constantly trying this or that, desperate to get to where I saw others were getting- in the meantime my passion and my deepest desires were often left on the side lines.
I couldn’t pour my all into my dream because… my dream didn’t feel big enough.
In my mind my dream wasn’t as lucrative as what others were doing- it wasn’t happening fast enough for me. Others were succeeding and making lots of money (and sometimes fame) doing what they were doing and I seemed stuck in a rut- and moving backwards.
That morning I asked Father to deliver me from the spirit of envy- that was the first time in a very long time that my dream felt crystal clear in every part of my body.
I received renewed strength and energy to pursue it- and suddenly my dream was enough.
I was still aware of how much more successful others were compared to me- but it didn’t matter. Because now I was on a mission that was wonderful and big and it was something set before me to do. And I was going to do it with excellence. And in my heart I knew that once I really delved into making my dream come true – I’d be pretty hard to beat. I was going to be the best at achieving my dream – because God had fully equipped me for it.
If you decide to focus on your dream and cut out all the other crap you’re wasting time on- you’ll find that no one else can fulfil your dream better than you. Not because they’re not as talented, or as smart or as whatever- but simply because your dream was given to you to achieve. And therefore, to be quite honest, only you can achieve it in the way it was meant to be achieved. No one else could ever fulfil for this world what God designed specially for you.
Often we benchmark ourselves against others.
We may not say it out loud but sometimes we look at someone else and think:
“I’m not as pretty as…”
“I’m not as smart as…”
“I’m not as creative… or successful, or innovative or rich, or smart or gifted or…”
The list goes on of things we’re not “as” whatever as the next person. And that’s ok.
There’s one thing I settled in my heart and in my head many years ago: That when it came to winning my husband’s heart it would never ever be because I was the prettiest girl in the world (they would always ALWAYS be someone more attractive)… it would never be because I was the smartest, there would always be a brighter chic than me around the corner, it would never be because I was the best at anything- there would always always be someone who could do whatever I could do better- and so I rested in just being me. Because no one could ever (not ever) beat me at being Me. WHOA!
Instead of worrying if I was “good enough” and being threatened by other women, I chose instead to be grateful that there were so many other women he could have chosen to marry but he chose me.
I realised then that all I could do was continue to be me- because the Me he fell in love with was a girl he found to be ultra-special. And that was that.
I think it’s the same in most things we do.
There might be others who are better but what makes you and I excellent in a specific something is that we focus with all our being to let what is in our hearts pour out.
What I’ve learned Dear Friend is this- what comes out of a sincere heart cannot be replicated.
Don’t worry about others running in their lane- keep running in yours. Set your eyes on your finish line. You’re not in a race against everyone else- you need to know that.
We’re told envy is the Green-Eyed Monster. What we’re not told often enough is how greedy it is and how it’s never satisfied. We’re not told of how destructive it can be. And I guess the saddest part of all is we’re not told that we can get rid of it in our lives.
I can’t tell you that I’m utterly immune to envy- but I can tell you that I cried out to God to deliver me from something that was eating me from the inside out.
It was keeping me from achieving the wonderful things that I was meant to enjoy.
It was robbing me of a purposeful and joyful life.
I want to leave you with this.
Do you remember the story about the garden of Eden?
There was lots and lots and lots and lots and lots… and lots of stuff in the garden- more stuff than we can even begin to imagine! And all that stuff was made for one person to enjoy: Adam. That’s how the story starts out.
I remind you of this story to remind you of what an abundant giver God is.
God is not stingy.
He made you fearfully and wonderfully and He packed you with dynamite!
He has placed in you EVERYTHING you will ever need to have an awesome life.
The key to what you desire is not in others- it’s in you.
Don’t look at what others have- you’re wasting time and missing out on enjoying what you have.
There’s splendour waiting to be unleashed out of you. Please focus. Get it to us. We’re waiting.
Hannah Viviers is the Creator and Host of the Dream BIG TV Show.