What Father says about interracial marriage
A young man who loves God contacted me a while ago and asked me about my marriage.
He was white, Afrikaans and living in what was a predominantly conservative white community in South Africa.
He was in love with a black woman.
I cannot say what he wrote to me better than he did so here is his letter to me:
“Good morning Mrs Viviers. How are you and the family today?
I want to tell you something that might be very funny to you. This happened before I got to know my beautiful Boitomelo. God kind of used you and my brokeness to break down racial bariers in me. After my divorce a few years back I switched on the TV one morning. The first thing I saw was the face of this beautiful black woman with shining eyes and awesome English. I was shocked to admit that I found a black woman so beautiful, being an Afrikaner. When I saw you were married to a white man, I thought “At least I’m not the only mad white man around.” I had such a crush on you. You were wow! I never understood much what you said about economics, but you made me realise that I was not a racist. Luckily I was doing training to be a pastoral counselor and then I met a black woman even more beautiful than you.(sorry)lol. She broke all barriers in me! My Beautiful Boitomelo! Eish I love her so much. Praise the Lord. Today I smile about those days. I respect you and your family highly. Just know that you played an important role in my growth to be closer to God. Thank you. Praise the Lord! May God bless you and your family.”
I bring up this topic (sadly in the 21st century still) because of an article I read about an interracial couple that was banned from a church – that church (in Kentucky USA) went on to bar mixed-race couples from joining the congregation.
The Gulnare Free Will Baptist Church members voted 9-6 to bar mixed-race couples from joining the congregation.
The resolution approved by the Gulnare church says it does not condone interracial marriage and “parties of such marriages will not be received as members, nor will they be used in worship services and other church functions, with the exception being funerals.”
People get mad when they hear this story. My husband was so perplexed and so upset by it he failed to articulate his rage.
I’m not mad. I’m not even the slightest upset. I’m not writing this article to change anyone’s mind about interracial couples. I’m writing for people who are in mixed relationships or would like to be and are scared because of ridicule. Or God forbid excommunication.
Let me tell you about my husband. He is my best friend. And after the birth of my son I can tell you that watching what an incredible human being and father he is to our son – he has become the love of my life.
My husband is my spiritual leader. He is the friend I truly feel has my back and the first person in my life who does things for me because he loves me. Period. My husband doesn’t make me feel as though I have to earn his love or his loyalty. He has showed me over the years that he is on my side. He is my protector. And even when I’m away from him I can feel the strength of his protection. No one has ever explained to me how totally Cool God is the way my husband has.
He has such a remarkable, child-like way of describing the Scriptures that through my husband I have learned about a gentle, compassionate and wonderful, kick-ass (yeah I said ass get over it) Father God who I’d always believed to be a wrathful judge growing up.
The most incredible thing my husband has ever said to me: “I can’t wait to spend eternity with you in heaven. It’ll be so awesome for us to just hang out.”
This is intimacy like I’ve never heard it before. In this simple, child-like statement I felt my husband was saying his love for me went beyond what human beings call love. He saw a friend in me that he wanted to know for E-T-E-R-N-I-T-Y. He knows full well there’ll be no marriage in heaven so we won’t be man and wife – but we will be friends – forever. A black woman and white man – friends forever- I am the luckiest girl on the planet!
I can, without a shred of guilt or reservation say this, anyone who feels interracial couples are something God frowns upon do not have the love of God in them and they clearly have no understanding of the Scriptures.
How can I say this for sure? Quite simple. There is a beautiful love story about an interracial couple in the Scriptures and God defends this couple fiercely.
For the skeptics, let’s turn to Number 12 from verse 1:
“And Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses because of the Ethiopian woman whom he had married: for he had married an Ethiopian woman.”
You can read the bulk of the rest of this story but the crux of it is that by Numbers 12:10 “Miriam became leprous, white as snow: and Aaron looked upon Miriam, and, behold, she was leprous.”
Moses, an Israelite (as they called them in those days) married an African woman. His siblings got on his case about it – God pretty much told them they were utterly out of line and struck Moses’ sister with leprosy (still don’t know why He didn’t give it Aaron too) (but anyway that’s a discussion for another day) and Moses had to pray for Miriam so she could be healed from her leprosy.
God has NO issues- none at all with interracial marriages.
If he did He’d have said so. But He didn’t. Upon my close inspection, in my understanding of this particular story God says, “Moses is my guy. I tell him what’s what. I’ll tell Him what I want and what I don’t want. How dare you (who are not God) speak against him?”
I’m just a mere human so I’m just saying when I read the Scriptures that’s what I see.
If you love someone of another race – Love on!
Don’t listen to what other people say.
Some of my husband’s family members frowned upon him for dating a black woman let alone marrying her! What he said to me in response to this: “Well quite frankly I don’t care. None of them ever made me as happy as you make me.”
And we are happy. Hehehehehehehehehehehehe… hehehehe
Our family members who have supported our marriage have been such a blessing. And I believe we are a tremendous blessing to them too.
The Church I know God is building doesn’t deal with silly issues such as: you can’t marry someone of another race.
The Church I know God is building is going out loving the heck out of people and telling them about the amazing good news that Jesus died for our sins and He is eagerly waiting to have a crazy, flaming love relationship with us.
And for crying out loud – if you’re in an interracial relationship and your church bans you – get out of there! What kind of stupidity pleads to be in a congregation where there is no God? God is not in a church where people treat each other based on race. And if you believe He is – you have bigger issues that you need to tend to.
As for me – I’m going to stop writing now so I can have tea with my remarkable, white Afrikaner husband and when our little mixed baby wakes up – we’ll smother him with our utter adoration for him.